


Letter no. 1

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 2w, F/F, F/M, Fluffy, Gen, I would die from embarrassment, Other, Sapphic, Sappy, also you asked me out and then I rejected you, and I show you this, and idk how to come back from that one, and then reincarnate to die again, anyways I love you, but also I hope you never see this, but that I desperately need one, can you tell idk how to deal with Feelings, confessing my feelings via orphaned ao3 work because I'm too much of a pussy to say anything, confused, is it obvious that I do not have a therapist, please happen, that would be cute as fuck, unless! this is the future and we're dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Literally just an "To All the Boys"-style unrequited love letter where I talk about my emotions bc I don't have a therapist (yet) and the usual person I'd talk to is, in fact, the person to whom this is addressed. This is v messy and will be orphaned as soon as I publish so hopefully I don't forget about it.
Relationships: Me and who





	Letter no. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first letter so idk how this is gonna go but I guess I'll put the date here? 
> 
> 7 march 2021

Hey,

I just wanted to say that I miss you and I love you, even if we haven't seen each other in person for 2 years.

I'm writing this letter because I want to be 100% honest with you and (mostly, seeing how I'm writing this anonymously so you won't ever see it) with myself about my feelings for you. I know we talk every day, but this is something I need to figure out by myself before looping you in. Actually that's just bs, we were already tangled last year when you asked me out (and I said no; I still stand by that but I'll explain later). The real reason that I'm keeping this from you is because I'm just scared. I love you and I love having you as a friend, and I'm too scared to do anything to upset our balance, even after you literally asked me out. I'm also scared that we wouldn't work out even if you said yes. I want you in my life for the rest of my days, basically, and I don't want to jeapordize that in any way.

Related to that, I'm also insecure about my place in your life compared to your place in mine. I (we?) need to step up our communication game because I do need verbal assurance that I'm just as important to you as you are to me, which I don't doubt you'd say but I'm still too scared to ask about. Anyways, the point of this is to say I don't know whether our relationship is strong enough and important enough to both of us to survive something like dating and breaking up. 

Now that we've gotten the reason why I'm writing the letter out of the way, let's get to the actual sappy stuff. This is gonna be v sappy, it's the cancerian in me. 

I honestly think you're my soulmate. Every time one of those soulmate tarot readings or relationship readings come up, I always think of you and only you. And everything matches up too. Or maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see from those readings, I don't really know. What I do know is that I really really want you to be my soulmate and my life partner. Whenever I think about the future, you're always there next to me. I'd love to live together someday, as struggling college students or rich retirees, I don't care. I honestly think we'd be such a great duo. Actually no, I think we already make a great duo, I'm just excited to see what we'll look like when we grow and mature. Speaking of which, I want to grow and mature with you, both as individuals and as a couple. I want us to laugh and cry and everything in between and just enjoy life together. I really, really, really wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I think it'd be great.

I realize I never defined what type of soulmates we are, platonic or romantic. That's because I just literally don't know. I don't even know which one I want at this point. I've always had a hard time separating platonic and romantic attraction (the sapphic curse), and you're no exception. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you and cuddle and watch movies and maybe kiss a little (or a lot), but I can't tell if I want that as friends or as a couple (yes, even the kissing part). As for the sexual part, that's a little less confusing seeing as I had a dream that we had sex. I think you fingered me? Not sure but I was definitely the bottom. Anyways, I'm pretty sure that I find you sexually attractive after that. This, combined with my willingness to kiss and cuddle you, makes me want to say it's romantic but I don't think I'll really know unless we try, which is not happening anytime soon (unless? phone sex?). And even if we still lived 15 minutes away, I don't think I'd work up the courage to ask you to cuddle, kiss, and then maybe finger-fuck me anyways, if the entire first section didn't already tell you that. All in all, I'm just very confused and maybe a little turned on. It's probably romantic.

On that note, I'm ending the letter. That was.......a ride. You'll probably never see this unless we're dating hardcore so it'll be okay. Bye, love you. 


End file.
